Just Another Blog Out There

After talking about it for so long, I've finally got down to it.



I bought a bottle of hair colour, and dyed my hair. The results were pretty encouraging, visible yet subtle. My hair colour didn't really become the colour of the model's hair, but less obvious and slightly more brownish than copper-reddish. The colour will become really obvious under strong light, but otherwise it's pretty subtle.

I wonder how my family and friends will react to it. :)

Finally willing to splurge almost $150 to get myself a decent workstation for my desktop PC.



Now I'm more of less self-sufficient in my room...haha...and less clutter in the living room.

Given the good reviews from several friends on Jack Neo's latest locally-produced movie, "I Not Stupid Too" (《小孩不笨2》), I went to catch it on the big screen——finally. I've never got a very good impression of local movies (after all it's the same production team that creates our local TV drama serials and variety shows), but I think this movie broke the mould.

It has a very simple storyline, and the moral behind the story was made so explicit that it's impossible not to pick it up: praise and affirm, and do it frequently. By right this moral is so common sense that it is expected that people should know and apply it in real life, but the sad reality that it takes the amplifying nature of a movie to knock it into our heads. The system we are brought up in has made us do the exact opposite, with harsh criticism and constant nagging being the norm instead.

Most Singaporeans who went through the Singapore education system in the last 20-30 years would know that academic results count, and it has never been more true in the recent times. With the rising competitive spirit in the country and around the region, students are being pushed to do more and do better in their studies. Almost everything, if not all, hinges on the grades printed on the result slip. Students are pushed through a standard system, and those who do not fit into the system are sieved out. My generation and many more before mine were brought up in the old system where our worth is based solely on academic performance. Although there has been some changes in generations after mine, unfortunately a large part of it remains the same.

My view of the education system in Singapore may be a bit over simplistic, but after being down in schools before, dealing with Normal Technical stream students, I can't help but say that the movie reflects (albeit highly dramatised) a stark reality of our society today.

I fear not so much of the next generation of students, but for myself. What if I were to be like the parents depicted in the movie, too critical of my child and stingy with affirmations? What if I failed to see their potential and focused only on "correcting" their mistakes? I pray, God, that my life will be one that speak hope and faith into lives; one that develops and nurtures, rather than one that cuts and destroy.

Nights ago as I lied on my bed, a familiar question came into my mind—what would my life be if I were to be selected for OCS 8 years ago? Before that night, I would fall into a cycle of self-rebuke and doubt, where I would start blaming myself: "I should have done better for my BMT...how I wish I were to wear that smart army uniform...my life would be better if I were to be an army officer (but then, how would I know that?)...I should have done better for my interview..." My motivation came from a warped idea that if I were an army officer, I would be better respected by people, and my life would somewhat be better off. Somehow I have come to associate that with who I want to be—who I want to be, not what God wants me to be.

But somehow that night, a sense of peace came over my soul. I just knew that whatever happened in my life is by the grace of God, and it is in His design that my path is as to be such. Where am I now is not my doing—I have done the best I could there and then. For the first time, I thanked God for where I am now on this issue instead of hurling blames and self-pitying statements at Him. I've come to a realisation that His plans are greater than mine; His ways are higher than mine. There is no place for me to ask "why" over things I have no control over, and the proper and best response is to accept it and submit my pride to God. Accepting it not with a grudging heart, but with a joyful spirit.

This is one big burden lifted off my heart. On hindsight, where I am now is not bad; it's great in fact—there are many people wanting to be in my position. "What ifs" will never happen, so why dwell on them? Why not channel all these energy to being in the centre of His will?

As I fix my eyes on Jesus
All other things pale in comparison